Sometimes, Little is Just Enough

I want to build a Tiny House…

This isn’t a shock to those who know me.

As a matter of fact, I’ve already begun dreaming, planning, pricing, downsizing, sharing, and researching. Most importantly, I’ve started praying…

I’ve even got a name for it (which, I’m not ready to share, quite yet).

Here’s the thing though, I want this to happen. But, I don’t want want to be alone for the adventure…Yet, I have been planning it as if it will just be me, because right now, I am just me.

This is part of my prayer, that God will send someone who has similar desires and dreams – including travel & ministry; creativity & passion; meaningful, simple, & sustainable living.

Every time I think about bringing someone into my life, it’s one of the big things I think about.

I’m trusting God to know my heart, to have my best & His glory in His response to my prayers.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope & pray with all my heart it includes travel in my own Tiny House doing ministry with my partner.

Because I don’t need a lot of stuff, or a lot of house. Sometimes, little, is just enough.

*Also, I have a tiny house bucket list…I can’t wait to get started on it 🙂 *



What a Girl [Doesn’t] Want

Looking back at that Embracing Single Life challenge, there were some great prompts in there just to have fun and be carefree, but also some good prompts to get me thinking.

Day 3 of that challenge was write what you don’t want…I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want, but only occasionally think about what I don’t want, which can be equally important.

So, what I don’t want:

  • Someone who doesn’t share my faith. It’s the most important part of my life, and I cannot share my life with someone who doesn’t put that part of his life first.
  • Someone who has no passion. I’m a passionate person, and I find people who lack passion very boring.
  • Someone who lacks motivation and aspiration. I’m constantly moving & growing, I like to be around others who are. I get easily irritated by people who become complacent in life. Do we have to rule the world? No. But, we need to be able to work & explore & have dreams and goals.
  • Someone who hates travel. I want to be on the move. I want to explore. I want to go. Of course, I want a place to come back to (and to take with me…Tiny house anyone?)
  • Someone with no sense of humor. I love to laugh. And, if a guy can make me laugh, yeah, it’s super important.
  • Someone who lacks compassion. I care about making a difference in others lives, something I hope to share with him. I can’t do that if he lacks compassion.

I’m sure there are more, but these are the biggest things that come to mind.

As a single, Christian girl in 2016, life can get lonely. But,  I know I’d rather serve God alone than live a worldly life with the wrong person.

Meaningful Message

A while back, I posted about an Embracing Single Life challenge…which I only did a few days of at the time.

Tonight, I was wondering what to write about for today’s post; so, since this 31 days is about exactly that, I went back to look at day 14.

That day’s challenge was “Draw something meaningful to you”:


This picture shows my worldview at its simplest. Not an ideal that I’ve just inherited, but my actual belief. My hope, my strength, my joy.

And, I can’t imagine bringing in a partner who doesn’t share it.

People say, “well, would you consider someone who just goes to church sometimes. Who ‘believes’?” – Um, sure, I’d consider it.

But, long-term, would we work? If his focus and mine differ?

It’s unlikely.

So, that’s what I’m praying for. A man passionate about this message right here. And, I trust hat God will bring him into my life (and hope it’s soon).


What Dreams May Come

I have spent a lot of time recently thinking lately about where I’ve been, where I am, and where I want to be.

I am so thankful I am not where I was…But, I am also thankful for each step of the journey, as hard as they have been.

I appreciate where I am now. It’s not that I really feel like I’m exactly where I want to be, but all evidence points to me being where I am supposed to be.

Recent events have made me acutely aware that God is using this time to grow me & stretch me, preparing me for the dreams that lay ahead.

Right now, there are a lot of times where I am consumed by the worry about finances or paperwork or social calendars…and my need to please everyone around me, often at the expense of myself.

But, now, I am taking those decisions back.

As I see what it may take to make those dreams possible, I’m aware of some important things:

I need to appreciate the moment I’m in. It’s beautifully ordinary, never perfect, and awfully wonderful, all at the same time. And, while I can’t wait to share all of that with someone, I am so appreciative of this time I have for myself.

I have to make different choices & decisions; intentionally, based on the dreams I want to see come true. I get to either be proactive or non-active. It’s my choice, and no amount of prayer or hope is going to replace any of the things God wants me to do to prepare and move forward. He has His part, but I, too have mine.

God has been with me – always. Evidence is there. Even on the days when I wonder, when I question, He’s there. I can fully rely on Him & trust in Him, even when my emotions aren’t there or say otherwise.

I cannot wait to be in a relationship. I look forward to sharing all of this experience with a partner, a man of God…That said, I am so glad I’m getting some extra time to learn and grow. I know I will be better prepared when our paths cross, and I hope he is as well.

Honestly, lately, I’m tired.
Until recently, I’ve been forgetting to care for myself. I’ve been in a state of denial about some changes that have to be made for my own health (and probably sanity)…

But, I’m trying. I know that if I ever want to care for a family, I have to be able to care for myself, too…even on the craziest days.

So, thank God for music & chocolate, my easiest reboot on long days as I prepare for what dreams may come.

Preparation in the Waiting

“That’s something that worries me about dating at this age. Either girls are super independent and set in their ways, you know like you. Or they just have never learned to grow up and we have to take care of em…”

I heard this while talking to a single guy about dating at our age.

And, to be fair to his statement, I had said earlier that it would take an amazing man to change my single status. So, I get it…

One of the beautiful things about this time of life is that I get to be independent and build a life I love…

But, the thing is, I am building a life I love and look forward to sharing with that amazing man.

In the mean time, I get to use this time to decide what kind of person I am and will continue to grow into – which includes the kind of wife and mom I will one day be.

I know I want to build a tiny house, and do some traveling ministry. And, while I pray that includes a partner, I know I can be ok if it doesn’t.

I know I want to live a more healthy and sustainable life; as well as a life that is surrounded by beauty and peace in such a crazy and at times ugly world.

I pray each day for the man God will bring, even though I am currently taking a break from online dating, and really, there aren’t any real prospects around.
He’s somewhere. So, I pray each day.

Until God brings our lives together, and we begin doing His work together, I will continue to grow towards the person I want to be – getting my own health and well-being in order. If I manage that, it’s one less hurdle he & I have when we get together (and, honestly, I hope he’s doing the same).

This is why I enjoy decorating for fall, keeping this blog, watching hours of tiny house footage, and Bible doodles (among other things). All of these are working on me to become the me I love and am proud to be…They contribute to my mental well-being.

This is also why I have begun to sell Scentsy again.

My work in the mental health field thus far have taught me some important things about myself:

  • I don’t want to always work full-time. Especially if I have a partner & then kids. I want to be the supplemental income, and spend time caring for my family. I want to be a partner in my husband’s ministry & a support in our home life.
  • I cannot always work full-time in the field without experiencing burn-out. There is so much negative emotion. I need other things in my day to off-set it.
  • I really do want to continue my education, and go for my PhD…I will need to find ways to fund that, in as little work hours as I can manage (enter Scentsy, a few hours of counseling, and a Tiny House…God can make all of this work, right?)

Often, this time of singleness feels forever…I mean, come on y’all, I’m 28 years old! 

But, this time is a beautiful time I get to use to grow into the calling God has placed on my life, to build a life I love, and to look out for others who will compliment that life, and whose lives I can compliment.

Somewhere along the way, I have faith God will bring a partner.

For now, I will just enjoy the preparation.

Tonight’s Self-Care

Self-care, like so many other things in life, is really about each individual…

Tonight, for me, self care looks like a combination of things:

Hanging out with my family
Listening to music of a wide variety
Scentsy shopping
Art Therapy

And, sitting near a lit tree…which is honestly one of my favorite places in the world to sit. I feel so at peace near a decorated & lit tree.

Tonight, I am doing all of this alone, after one of the hardest weeks I’ve had in a long time:

I’ve been sick.
Baby seester has been in extreme pain.
An emotional & heart-wrenching week at work.
And, a tragedy struck my hometown to round it out.

But, in the quiet of the night, I am reminding myself it’s ok to feel it all. It’s ok to do what I need to to reset, so that I can move forward the next week.

Tonight, it’s just me alone.

One day (Lord Willing, & I really hope), there will be a partner. One who will have to understand my need for nights like this – with some space. One who will also have to understand my need for nights together, when I can’t be left alone with my thoughts for threat of going crazy in my own head. I look forward to that time.

But, tonight, it’s just me & my tree:


Where Dreams are Born

“So come with me where dreams are born and time is never planned” -???

I don’t know where this quote is from, exactly (Peter Pan, or perhaps a Neverland inspired song…?), but I love it…

Enough to paint it on my headboard
in a 6ft tall display of art & literary beauty that I fall asleep under each night.

And, it is representative of another dream I have: my own, self-designed tiny home. I hope to use it as a door or some other piece in the home.

The home in which I will travel for a while, before finding my place to settle in this world. Going wherever God leads…

Here is where my dreams are born…
unfortunately, my time is planned.
And, funds are limited.

So, I need a way to fund those dreams, as dreams don’t actually run on “faith, trust, and pixie dust” (Peter Pan), as much as I wish they would.

This is why, I have returned to the Scentsy life. I love Scentsy, and I love the emotions and memories the scents bring up in my life.

I enjoy being a scent filled soul, and love sharing the business with others. Because, it’s an honest company, who loves their consultants & customers.

“For me, my sense of smell always brings up some amazing memories & good feelings. I love to surround myself with those smells that uplift me on a bad day, calm me on a stressful day, and inspire hope on dark days…” – my personal scent story

If you’re interested in knowing more, click the link above for my website, where you can read my full Scentsy story, see my favorite scents, and order some of your own.

Or, if you’re curious, you can check out my Scentsy/Tiny House inspo Twitter & Instagram, for tips, tricks, and Tiny House dreaming…(Tiny_Nephesh, which is “Tiny Soul” – blog soon to follow)

My dreams are big.
They require a lot of work,
but also a lot of art & wonder…

This is just the beginning. And, until I make them happen, I will enjoy my Single life, sleeping under my very own painted sky…

“Where dreams are born & time is never planned” -??


“You have to walk the walk & talk the talk” – how often have we heard about this?

For me, that means a lot of looking at the Old & New Testaments. A lot of time with the Proverbs 31 Woman & a lot of time with Paul (as well as their contemporaries)…

Here’s the thing about these two though:
~Paul is a man
~The Proverbs 31 Woman had a man

I am neither… yet, I desire to live a life reflective of the walk both would inspire…

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” – Philippians 4:11

Life taught Paul that survival necessitated contentment…

So, for my walk to reflect that, I must be reliant on Christ’s strength, even in this time of being single…However long or short that part of my journey has left.

As for the Proverb’s 31 Woman?

She worked, she cared, she was faithful, she loved, she gave…
I can do all of those things as well, but I don’t have anyone to help pick up the slack. For my survival, I must rely on two: God first, and me second.

I recognize this as the order of my life. And, I accept it as it is. Knowing that my situation is always temporary, even if my singleness turns out not to be. I also recognize that I must be in charge of following God’s lead in order to survive, otherwise, I am utterly on my own.

I look forward to sharing more this month about my journey – many days in just 5 succinct  minutes. But, each day, another aspect of how I’m allowing God to prepare me in this time for whatever lays ahead.

I hope you enjoy the journey, as well.

This month, I am participating in #Write31Days challenge, as well as the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes subchallenge. This year, I have chosen to write more about this particular period of singleness in my life.
This is my 3rd year to participate, and each year, I am amazed at how much I learn about myself and the world around me from writing & reading others’ words. Check out all the fun over at the link up sites. And, Join us, will you?

Let me introduce myself…

Now, I’ve had this blog for about for about 2 years, and was hosted on Blogspot for about 4 years before. So, I’ve been blogging for 6 years…

And, I feel the need to re-introduce myself. So much has happened in the past 6 years, this blog has been through so many seasons & cycles itself.

Back to me – I am passionate about God’s unrelenting, unwarranted, and absolutely unconditional love -His Agape. Making His children Agapetos – the beloved.

But, knowing I am the beloved, and feeling it all the time are two entirely different things.

Sometimes, that not-feeling has come from the huge, 10 year battle with depression that I fought…which is trying to rear it’s ugly head again…Sometimes, it comes from the heart pounding, suffocating anxiety I feel like will be with me forever…Sometimes, it comes from the chronic singleness that has engulfed my life…

Yet, whatever the reason, my lack of feeling does not negate the truth of my being.

I am beloved…

And, in this season of my life, I want to focus on accepting, becoming, and waiting.

  • Accepting: my role as His beloved. Right now, that means being back in a place I never thought I’d find myself again, working in my old schools, and attending a church I left 9 years ago. Right now, it means faith in His perfect plan, His ability to bring beauty from ashes, and His future blessings. Right now, it means simply accepting the present for what it is and turning to Him when the rest get’s overwhelming.
  • Becoming: who I’m meant to be as His beloved. We all have that picture of what we want our lives to be like, and compare when we get there. Mine doesn’t exactly look how I thought, but pretty close. Yet, there are pieces missing…things I thought I’d have or places I’d be. So, I am focusing on becoming that girl – in so far as God leads me there. It also means pushing myself at times, or holding back at times. I am focusing on allowing God to shape me, grow me, stretch me, and sustain me.
  • Waiting: Those who have read my posts before know I am constantly in a waiting phase – and the biggest thing I am waiting for is that Godly man I will one day build a life with. A man I can submit to and serve with. I know I am also waiting on career moves to be opened up. So, I will focus on the wait – the acceptance and becoming that take place in the waiting. The continued faith that God will fulfill and provide for me according to His good will & purpose.

Honestly, it’s not much different than the way the blog has been in the past. Just a little more focused on these aspects of beloved-ness.

Perhaps someone will find this blog, my little slice of the internet, and know they are not alone in their struggle. Maybe, someone will reach out and offer encouragement, not only to me but to readers, as we become and wait. Maybe someone else out there needs to be reminded and encouraged in their own accepting, becoming, or waiting (or all three).

I pray that in the time moving forward (until my next mini-shift), people will be encouraged, people will find community. I pray that God will begin to use me more than ever to reach others like me, or different than me. That my words would touch exactly who they are supposed to, and that in writing them, I too will be changed & challenged.

Thanks for reading! Welcome to my little corner of the world 🙂

Another little word on waiting –

Recently, waiting has been a challenge. I keep hearing from people the same pat Christian answers…and I know they are only trying to help, but, honestly, sometimes I desire more of an understanding and a “this sucks” than anything.

We as believers keep throwing around some of the same phrases, things like: “Wait on God’s timing”, “It’ll happen when you least expect it”, & “focus on becoming the right person.” Honestly, some days, I want to punch anyone who says any of these, even if that first one is actually biblical…And, sometime in the next week or so, I will be writing a post reacting to these semi-myths of Godly waiting.

But, what I want everyone to know is that, just because I get tired of waiting at times (and boy do I grow so weary, especially in the weeks before my birthday…), this doesn’t mean I will give up, compromise, or go my own way. I know, even on the hardest days, God has a plan to use my life for His glory (even if that plan does not include me ever having a husband). And, even on my hardest day, I know a single life serving God is far better than a married life pulled away from Him.

Yet, what I wish people really grasped is that: waiting does not mean doing nothing. Even as a woman.

I can’t wait to share more with all of you as I narrow this focus for this chapter of my life. Thanks so much for reading and joining my journey.

What have you learned over the years about accepting, becoming, and/or waiting? Do you feel God has been brought glory from your life? How about from your relationship story? Do you feel like He used your single time to help you become in the waiting? Has he worked in your heart to accept & be content? Let me know below. I’d love to hear from you!

Struggle of Proverbs 31

I’m a pinner… Sometimes, it can be a problem.

During a recent pinning session, I came across a pin that outlines the “10 virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman” and the second virtue:


Now, yes, in proverbs 31, she is married;
but my heart grew angry.
         So, marriage is my only option to be virtuous? No, it’s not!

I’ve written on the Proverbs 31 Woman before. I’ve also written in the context of waiting for that partner, becoming that woman in the waiting.

Yet, this is the idea: in order to be a good Christian woman, we have to be married. We each have that pressure around us at all times.

I have two sisters younger than me, and both seem closer to the alter than I am (& one of them is still in high school)…

So, now, we single women (especially as we get older), are left to feel convicted.
I’m somehow not living up to potential, because there hasn’t been anyone in my life who can be that Godly leader in my life & home, who have been ready for a relationship or commitment.

Does that really mean I can’t be the virtuous woman?
Absolutely not…

As a matter of fact, it conflicts with what Paul says about the gift of a life of singleness:

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – 1 Corinthians 7:8-9

So, as a single woman, striving to live out God’s plan, what do I do?
Which verse do I follow?
Do I patiently remain single; or seek to marry, so that I can be virtuous?

Yes. Both.

I get to decide to serve God where I am, with what I have.

And, I pray.
I pray for myself in the waiting. And, I pray for whoever God may bring into my life.
I pray for wisdom & strength in the temptation about my passions & desires. And, I pray that I would be of use in the time of waiting.

In the waiting, I become that virtuous woman. (Which, by the way, means “force” “valiant” & “valor”). I can bring good to those I love and those who love me. I develop my work ethic & my service for the Kingdom. I can strengthen myself, and in Christ be bold & powerful.

In Christ, my character develops, and from there my beauty comes through.

And, in this way, I bring good to my husband, even before I meet him.

Thus, I am that virtuous woman…
Even if I am single for another 5 years…
Even if this man comes into my life near the end…
Even if God never brings a husband into my life…
Even if I am called to a life of single service…

So, lets stop shaming the single woman, making her feel as if she must have a man to serve God; instead teaching and encouraging one another to be that virtuous woman even before he comes along. (How much better would that make our marriage when/if God does bless us that way?)

So, my friends, single or married: Go forth & Be a virtuous force!

With this week’s Five Minute Friday