Breaking the Habit Cycle

Time for some real talk…

Back in September, I was diagnosed gluten sensitive. After nearly 2 years of not knowing what was wrong – I have an answer. (One I don’t like, but an answer).

So, for more than 6 months, I’ve known the biggest cause of my stomach woes. Yet, I keep in this cycle of gluten free, and then allowing some back in my diet (and then suffering because of it, so back to gluten free).

With this cycle comes all the horrific side effects: headaches, irritability, increased anxiety, major digestive issues, and more.

Each time I say I won’t do it again, then, a week or two later, there I go on a gluten binge again.

Monday night, as I found myself desperately in the presence of my Abba, in a world of pain after a stressful and heartbreaking day, which followed one of these binges (due to lack of time/access to better choices), realizing how often we are like this in our spiritual lives.

I was so desperate for His word & comfort because of the magnitude of my negative feelings – a terrible day at the office. But what of the rest of my recent times?

Well, netflix, work, & other “obligations” have kept my attention.

And, it’s this way with our sins, too, big or small. We think “never again”, and then the enemy comes in and tempts us once again. And, we cave. We give in & feel the convictions followed by “never again” promises that fall flat.

Though, it isn’t always just sin. Notice I put netflix first on the list? It’s where all my time seems to have been going when time isn’t accounted for by something else. Then again, that makes it an idol, huh? Now, we’re right back at the sin…

So, how do we get out of the cycle?
Well, obviously, I’m not good at that part yet. But, I can tell you:

  • First, we decide – really decide never again. We make a real, conscious choice to actually change the behavior.
  • We repent. This means a complete 180. A turn from what we once did, and to a new way of behaving.
  • pray. On our own, the cycle never ends. He is our strength. He is the only way the cycle ends.
  • We surround ourselves with Godly accountability. Again, we cannot do this alone. Godly accountability relieves some of the pressure, and gives us people to rely on.
  • We extend and accept grace for ourselves. Not as something to take for granted or take advantage of, but to genuinely extend ourselves grace and accept His grace. We will mess up. It will happen (especially early on). So, we pick up & we move forward.

Hopefully, I can do this – both in my physical need (gluten-free) & in my spiritual needs (God always priority).

And, if you find yourself stuck in that cycle, I pray you can also break it and really put God as your priority.

Let me know below if there are any ways I can pray with/for you in this area. 

A Psalm of Brokenness

I have never shied away from the hard stuff – and right now, my family is going through a hard time.

My heart is left broken and bare; so, tonight, I have a new poem to share:

A Psalm of Brokenness

GOD,
I feel like I’m drowning.
Financially. Family. 
Emotionally.
Life circumstances.
My choices.
Surrounded by brokenness
and hopelessness.
Jesus, you never promised
an easy life;
A life without troubles.
So, I pray
Peace in the storm.
Take my worries and cares.
Don’t let me fall.
Don’t let me drown.
Keep me afloat,
Ready for what’s next.
May each of these
Messy, sticky situations
find their way to 
Bring Glory to your name.
Lord, be my strength.
Forever I will praise your
Wonderful, powerful
Beautiful name.

©Candice Jenee’ 2017

 

 

Ah, Back to Ireland.

2013 was the last time I got the opportunity to visit Ireland. I have been twice for ministry opportunities.

Now, I have the opportunity to return this July.
I.Am.So.Excited.

Each time I go there, I fall more & more in love: with the place, the people, and spreading the Love of God across the ocean.

It’s another great opportunity to spread God’s love across the globe. My biggest passions meet in this: ministry, people, travel, and Ireland. 

So, as you found your way to this blog, please pray with me about ways to support: prayer is greatly appreciated. Of course.

But, if God moves your heart to donate (any help at all is so much appreciated), here are some ways you can do that, too:

  • A “gofundme” option is available.
  • I started an Etsy shop: TinyNepheshArts.  If you are looking to purchase some art, including custom orders, I have some pieces available for sale.

Prayer is always appreciated for sure.
Prayer that God would bring in the finances for the entire team.
That we would make connections, make an impact, and become more globally minded in our living.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me: scentfilledsoul@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance for support and blessing.


I also enjoy the opportunity to pray for those who read my blog. So, as you are praying for my next adventure, let me know below what I can be in prayer for for you. Blessings!

 

I Carry It All

In the back of my Bible are 2 very special pages; my war-room.

Actually, I got the idea from The Sacred Echo by Margaret Feinberg.  It’s two facing pages that I keep prayer requests & prayer prompts on. Many just names, or names & ways to pray for them.  Scrawled in the middle of one of those pages, a verse that resembles my heart, and centers my prayers:

image

This is why I do what I do every day.

And, on these two pages, I let out the hard stuff so I don’t have to carry it around all the time. Because, I am not meant to carry it alone.

But, my call is to be there with people in their brokenness, then turning it over to God.

It is why my heart is so pulled toward ministry (read more about my tiny house ministry dreams by clicking that link).

The fact is, though, in my career, I carry it with me. It becomes a part of shaping who I am and how I interact with the world.

Tonight, it was a lot, so I wrote a poem about it, and I really felt the need to share it for others in similar places:

I Carry It All

I carry it all;
Though it’s not mine to bear.
At least, not mine alone.
But, I carry it all.
Every story,
Every broken heart.
Every thread-bare home,
Every scarred body and soul.
I carry it all;
Though it’s not mine to bear.
At least, not mine alone.
It’s a passion in my heart;
A stirring in my spirit;
Divinely driven.
I carry it all;
Though it’s not mine to bear.
At least, not mine alone.
He is my Joy and Strength.
He is the reason I don’t buckle
under the weight.
Because, I carry it all.
It’s in my heart;
It’s in my mind.
The weight in heavy
on my Spirit.
I carry it all;
Though it’s not mine to bear.
At least, not mine alone.
This is my life;
The path I’ve chosen.
It makes my heart alive,
And breaks me all the same.
This will always be my call;
And, I carry it all;
Though it’s not mine to bear.
At least not mine alone.
So, I pass it on to Him,
Casting it all on His heart.
Because, I carry it all;
Though it’s not mine to bear.
At least, not mine alone.

©CandiceJenee2017

 

Tonight’s Prayer

Abba:

I’m getting restless.

I’m tired of being in Oklahoma.
I’m ready to be somewhere else.
Pack up my new tiny home & hit the road.

Realistically, I’m not in a place to leave yet.

And, lately, that truth has been wearing on my heart.

I know that for my own well-being & health, I can’t make this place my forever home.

But, it’s not time for me to move yet. So, I’m almost regretting the choice to come here in the first place, though there has been so much good being here.

There is a spirit of oppression on this place that feels like it weakens my spirit.

There is so much pressure from inside & out to be what everyone wants me to be. I almost feel stuck in my situation. Like there’s no way out, no opportunity for change. Making me ready to cut ties & run.

This is a good chance for me to learn – that’s not the way the world works.

Please, show me the good that has been done. Reveal the next step in Your plan for me here in this place. Open the right doors & close the rest of them.

Lift the spirit of oppression over my life, destroy any anxiety or depression that would threaten what You have called me to do; destroy any apathy that has made it’s way into my heart.

Soften me, remove the callouses that are developing on my heart. 

Open up opportunity for me to use the gifts you’ve given me to bring Glory to You.

May I leave every situation with my integrity intact.image

Send me more relationships to sharpen my relationship with You, allowing me to see more hope in the world around me.

Lord, be with this city, this state, and this nation. May any confusion & disillusionment begin to melt away. Soften hearts and turn them towards you.

God, please remove anything that is hindering the purpose you have for me.

And, in this waiting time, may I remember to take care of my soul & refresh my spirit, trusting that what’s on the other side of this waiting is Your best for my life.

I am so thankful for the amazing life I live, a life of beauty even on the hardest days.

Amen