How I Met…

You know, I’m not sure that meet-cutes happen much anymore.

You know the stories:

Boy meets girl: eyes meet across the room; they both reach for the same apple; they bump into each other on the sidewalk; and the list goes on. Then, they fall in love. #SoulMates

No, I just don’t know how often that happens, those cute stories. And I don’t know how many people are actually choosing mates that are right for them, because they are jumping into things. And, I don’t know how realistic the possibilities of those fairy tale endings are…

But, I do believe in the power of prayer, and beautiful, God written love stories.

See, I pray for my “him” – whoever he is, wherever he is, and whenever God decides to bring him into my life. However God decides to bring him.

So, I will be pleased with our meeting story (online, in person, whatever), because I have prayed for it, fasted for it, & had strong faith in God’s plan, purpose, & timing.

And, when that time comes, I will be glad to share that story!

Meaningful Message

A while back, I posted about an Embracing Single Life challenge…which I only did a few days of at the time.

Tonight, I was wondering what to write about for today’s post; so, since this 31 days is about exactly that, I went back to look at day 14.

That day’s challenge was “Draw something meaningful to you”:

image

This picture shows my worldview at its simplest. Not an ideal that I’ve just inherited, but my actual belief. My hope, my strength, my joy.

And, I can’t imagine bringing in a partner who doesn’t share it.

People say, “well, would you consider someone who just goes to church sometimes. Who ‘believes’?” – Um, sure, I’d consider it.

But, long-term, would we work? If his focus and mine differ?

It’s unlikely.

So, that’s what I’m praying for. A man passionate about this message right here. And, I trust hat God will bring him into my life (and hope it’s soon).

 

Preparation in the Waiting

“That’s something that worries me about dating at this age. Either girls are super independent and set in their ways, you know like you. Or they just have never learned to grow up and we have to take care of em…”

I heard this while talking to a single guy about dating at our age.

And, to be fair to his statement, I had said earlier that it would take an amazing man to change my single status. So, I get it…

One of the beautiful things about this time of life is that I get to be independent and build a life I love…

But, the thing is, I am building a life I love and look forward to sharing with that amazing man.

In the mean time, I get to use this time to decide what kind of person I am and will continue to grow into – which includes the kind of wife and mom I will one day be.

I know I want to build a tiny house, and do some traveling ministry. And, while I pray that includes a partner, I know I can be ok if it doesn’t.

I know I want to live a more healthy and sustainable life; as well as a life that is surrounded by beauty and peace in such a crazy and at times ugly world.

I pray each day for the man God will bring, even though I am currently taking a break from online dating, and really, there aren’t any real prospects around.
He’s somewhere. So, I pray each day.

Until God brings our lives together, and we begin doing His work together, I will continue to grow towards the person I want to be – getting my own health and well-being in order. If I manage that, it’s one less hurdle he & I have when we get together (and, honestly, I hope he’s doing the same).

This is why I enjoy decorating for fall, keeping this blog, watching hours of tiny house footage, and Bible doodles (among other things). All of these are working on me to become the me I love and am proud to be…They contribute to my mental well-being.

This is also why I have begun to sell Scentsy again.

My work in the mental health field thus far have taught me some important things about myself:

  • I don’t want to always work full-time. Especially if I have a partner & then kids. I want to be the supplemental income, and spend time caring for my family. I want to be a partner in my husband’s ministry & a support in our home life.
  • I cannot always work full-time in the field without experiencing burn-out. There is so much negative emotion. I need other things in my day to off-set it.
  • I really do want to continue my education, and go for my PhD…I will need to find ways to fund that, in as little work hours as I can manage (enter Scentsy, a few hours of counseling, and a Tiny House…God can make all of this work, right?)

Often, this time of singleness feels forever…I mean, come on y’all, I’m 28 years old! 

But, this time is a beautiful time I get to use to grow into the calling God has placed on my life, to build a life I love, and to look out for others who will compliment that life, and whose lives I can compliment.

Somewhere along the way, I have faith God will bring a partner.

For now, I will just enjoy the preparation.

Struggle of Proverbs 31

I’m a pinner… Sometimes, it can be a problem.

During a recent pinning session, I came across a pin that outlines the “10 virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman” and the second virtue:

“Marriage”

Now, yes, in proverbs 31, she is married;
but my heart grew angry.
         So, marriage is my only option to be virtuous? No, it’s not!

I’ve written on the Proverbs 31 Woman before. I’ve also written in the context of waiting for that partner, becoming that woman in the waiting.

Yet, this is the idea: in order to be a good Christian woman, we have to be married. We each have that pressure around us at all times.

I have two sisters younger than me, and both seem closer to the alter than I am (& one of them is still in high school)…

So, now, we single women (especially as we get older), are left to feel convicted.
I’m somehow not living up to potential, because there hasn’t been anyone in my life who can be that Godly leader in my life & home, who have been ready for a relationship or commitment.

Does that really mean I can’t be the virtuous woman?
Absolutely not…

As a matter of fact, it conflicts with what Paul says about the gift of a life of singleness:

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – 1 Corinthians 7:8-9

So, as a single woman, striving to live out God’s plan, what do I do?
Which verse do I follow?
Do I patiently remain single; or seek to marry, so that I can be virtuous?

Yes. Both.

I get to decide to serve God where I am, with what I have.

And, I pray.
I pray for myself in the waiting. And, I pray for whoever God may bring into my life.
I pray for wisdom & strength in the temptation about my passions & desires. And, I pray that I would be of use in the time of waiting.

In the waiting, I become that virtuous woman. (Which, by the way, means “force” “valiant” & “valor”). I can bring good to those I love and those who love me. I develop my work ethic & my service for the Kingdom. I can strengthen myself, and in Christ be bold & powerful.

In Christ, my character develops, and from there my beauty comes through.

And, in this way, I bring good to my husband, even before I meet him.

Thus, I am that virtuous woman…
Even if I am single for another 5 years…
Even if this man comes into my life near the end…
Even if God never brings a husband into my life…
Even if I am called to a life of single service…

So, lets stop shaming the single woman, making her feel as if she must have a man to serve God; instead teaching and encouraging one another to be that virtuous woman even before he comes along. (How much better would that make our marriage when/if God does bless us that way?)

So, my friends, single or married: Go forth & Be a virtuous force!


With this week’s Five Minute Friday

When…

How many times have I asked this question?

In the past week alone…?

When will I graduate…?
When will I be able to start my career?
When will this transition be over?
When will I meet “him”?
When will I actually start living how I say I want to live?
When will I finally be a “grown up”? (Then again, do I 
really want to be…)

Those who have read previous posts know that I’ve referred to myself as a perfectionist, and that my anxiety hinges on this need for things to just fall into place.

I get so caught up, sometimes, asking when, that I get derailed from actually making things happen.

I forget that I have the power to set things in motion, simply by doing.

That life I want for myself? Sure, I can’t make a “him” appear for myself, but I can begin (or continue) to work on other aspects of that life: career, family, friendships, spirituality.

That me that I want to be? God is shaping me into that, and the process goes a lot smoother when I submit to the hand of the potter.

So, when? 

I don’t know, but I’m starting to really just enjoy the journey on the way there.


This post is part of the Tuesday @ 10 link up over at Finding the Grace WithinThis week’s theme is WhenHead on over there to join the fun! And, let me know below how you handle the big question “When?”