A Psalm of Brokenness

I have never shied away from the hard stuff – and right now, my family is going through a hard time.

My heart is left broken and bare; so, tonight, I have a new poem to share:

A Psalm of Brokenness

GOD,
I feel like I’m drowning.
Financially. Family. 
Emotionally.
Life circumstances.
My choices.
Surrounded by brokenness
and hopelessness.
Jesus, you never promised
an easy life;
A life without troubles.
So, I pray
Peace in the storm.
Take my worries and cares.
Don’t let me fall.
Don’t let me drown.
Keep me afloat,
Ready for what’s next.
May each of these
Messy, sticky situations
find their way to 
Bring Glory to your name.
Lord, be my strength.
Forever I will praise your
Wonderful, powerful
Beautiful name.

©Candice Jenee’ 2017

 

 

Safe (Ascent from Madness)

It’s been a Sunday where nothing is going quite as it should…even trying to get this post up & the blog updated, my internet simply refuses to co-operate…so, I decided a little fiction writing would do my spirit some good. I’m adding to my collection of Ascent from Madness flash fiction pieces below, as a part of the most recent 5 Minute Friday.

The theme this week: SAFE


It’s so strange, how unsettled I am.
I know it just goes with the territory. That’s what they tell me anyway.

But, I mean, I’m old enough now, I should be feeling secure & safe now, right? Now that I’m “getting better”…

Safe…

Do I even know that word?
I knew that word once…didn’t I?

I honestly don’t know. But, I must have. Though, even in my earliest memories, safety isn’t a theme.

Safe…

Darkness. Music.
My home. The one I’ve created.
The creativity in my mind.

These things make me feel safe.

Out there – the world? Not so much.

But, I guess I hide it well.
I “fit in.” I “work.”

But, safe?

No, I don’t really think I am…And, I don’t think I ever really was…


 

Rainstorm (Ascent from Madness)

Time for another flash fiction post 🙂 I am quite enjoying using the 5 minute time-frame to write something not only flash in length, but time written in.

Also, doing these little flash fiction posts has re-ignited my  love for writing fiction, so I’ve decided that once our #Write31Days challenge has ended, I’m going to once again participate in NaNoWriMo…which will likely mean less blogging, but perhaps more flash fiction.

Both challenges are a good distraction from the depressing world of online dating…which I really needed this break from (it’s hard out there for a single girl, guys!)

Below is my final flash piece of this challenge


Rainstorm (Ascent from Madness)

I cloistered myself in my room. My work nook all ready for a cozy afternoon of writing.

The rainstorm outside surrounded me with a mysterious air. What perfect writing conditions if ever there were. The quiet was a welcome change from the madness of the world, and the rain offered an even greater sense of comfort.

The trees cast an eerie shadow on the walls.

It’s like my mind, in reality. Some days, it really is hard to know which is which, though.

I know my deadline for the newest piece, and I am not even close to finishing.

Since I’ve gotten “better”, the writing doesn’t come as easily. I have a harder time tapping into my creative side since most of the madness seems to be gone.

Why does it seem all the best artists are mad? Like they tap into some oft forgotten creative energy field just through their brokenness.

How do I get that back…? I wonder to myself as I stare at the rain trails on the pane.

I glance at my reflection…Can I remember that time well enough…Can I tap into it now…?


 

Sometimes, Little is Just Enough

I want to build a Tiny House…

This isn’t a shock to those who know me.

As a matter of fact, I’ve already begun dreaming, planning, pricing, downsizing, sharing, and researching. Most importantly, I’ve started praying…

I’ve even got a name for it (which, I’m not ready to share, quite yet).

Here’s the thing though, I want this to happen. But, I don’t want want to be alone for the adventure…Yet, I have been planning it as if it will just be me, because right now, I am just me.

This is part of my prayer, that God will send someone who has similar desires and dreams – including travel & ministry; creativity & passion; meaningful, simple, & sustainable living.

Every time I think about bringing someone into my life, it’s one of the big things I think about.

I’m trusting God to know my heart, to have my best & His glory in His response to my prayers.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope & pray with all my heart it includes travel in my own Tiny House doing ministry with my partner.

Because I don’t need a lot of stuff, or a lot of house. Sometimes, little, is just enough.

*Also, I have a tiny house bucket list…I can’t wait to get started on it 🙂 *

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Sky (Ascent from Madness)

Tonight’s prompt is sky…and after a long day, I’m not sure I can come up with anything for that…so, more flash fiction…enjoy


I lay looking up at the sky. Always a good way to be grounded.

I love this journey I’m on, experiencing new places. And looking at new pieces of sky.

Boat…I tell myself looking at the clouds above. Crane…

I am enjoying these brief few hours to myself while he’s out. Much of my business is at home, in front of my screen. For me, it works.

It would drive him insane. So, he goes in search of human interaction. Meanwhile, I find activities of solitude, or search for canine interaction. Since we’re on the road so much, he refuses to let me get a dog of my own.

Ooh! Puppy! I exclaim happily in my own head.

I honestly don’t know how we found ourselves here, but I’m so glad we did. I never thought someone would love me this much, or that I’d be open to someone as I am him.

Bzzz. I look down, a client calling. I answer kindly, and after a quick chat, I’m brought back to the reality of life around me.

A life I’ve become so grateful for, after all the struggles, and finally feel at peace in.