Oh, Monday

There are a lot of days, since I’m early in my career, that I find myself wondering “what am I doing? Am I doing what I’m supposed to? Am I educationally or emotionally prepared for what I’m doing?”

I mean, of course I am, this is all a part of the process. It’s the act of asking those questions that lets me know I’m on the right path…

And, then, there are days like today. And, it was a Monday for sure, by all definition.
But, I had that kind of day that reminded me I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, and that I am ready for where I am.

I hate Mondays as a rule, but, as far as Mondays go, today was great. And, considering how the past few weeks have been, it was a welcomed relief to have one of those days to start off my week.

So, now, as I’m about to settle in for the night, all I can say is: Oh, Monday.

Ready

This post will be a little different, but only a little… And, I’m writing it as part of this week’s Tuesday @ 10 (prompt:READY)…

 

In one month, I will be 28 years old.

28. I remember when that seemed so old. Now? Many days, it seems like I’m still a kid & haven’t gotten the hang of this whole “adulting” thing.

But, somedays, I feel like the opposite. Like, I should have all my stuff together now. Don’t most people by this age?

Single. Entry-ish level job. Looking into a PhD program to being in two years.
Not where I thought I’d be at this time – because by 30, I was gonna have it all together. 30, the magic age I was waiting for for life to be what I wanted.

I always knew my 20s would suck…but, the thing is, they haven’t. Even at these times when I realize I’m not where I wanted to be, it hasn’t been terrible.

April and May of this year, though? Yeah, they sucked. But they’re over now.

And, regardless of how things fall with my family, my life will move forward.  I realize that now.

And, I’m ready for it.

New position (sort of) at work; more steady. I’m going to be salaried for the first time in my life. Not the most money, but nothing to sneeze at. No more hourly, no more contract. Steady income – for now.

So, I’m getting ready for it.

I feel as if I have set up a good, solid foundation for my life. One I’ve worked really hard on.

But, buildings are not just their foundation. They are also their framing, their walls, their roofs. Rooms and doors; interiors and art. That’s what I’m ready for in my life.

This apartment, this job. These are parts of the frame. And, in the coming several months, I’m going to focus on building up the house of my life all around them:

  • Spiritual Life: I am in a place where my spiritual life could just stay still or surge forward; I choose the latter. No waiting for a guy to come along to lead; Christ can do that job better than anyone, and will continue to do so no matter who is in my life.
  • Professional Wardrobe: It’s time I allow myself more pieces that say casual and business adult, that I am comfortable in. That allow me to feel feminine, yet also uniquely me. 
  • Relationship: 5 years ago I made a resolution to go on a date…it took 3 years to make that happen. Now, I’m ready for something real & substantial. I’m ready to begin a relationship, preferably the lasting one. With a Godly man who is honest, forward, and passionately in love with Jesus. Not a man-child who only goes to church on Sunday, only to live out the rest of his life as if God is a vending machine in the sky. So, I am going to be praying and preparing myself, as well as putting myself out there. It’s time.
  • Organization: Organization is not always my strong-suit…As an INFP, I once heard that planners were designed by Js…needed by P’s but never used (or not consistently), not needed by J’s, who happen to be the one’s who use them the most. So, I’m putting mine to use. Setting some goals for summer & beyond. As well as some other resources I’ve bought myself to be an amazing traveling therapist.
  • School & Career: I am going to use this new opportunity to learn, to sharpen my abilities, to stop being so scared of being a professional woman, and to build my resume for the final step in my education journey. I’m going to take opportunities to grow in my field, to teach others, and to contribute to the knowledge and awareness. And, I will, one day, hold my PhD and be able to teach, research, and work with clients. The ultimate triple threat.
  • Writing: This goes along with the above. This is the time in my life where I get to decide how serious I am about my unrelenting passion of writing, how much I want it to be a part of my life, and how I can incorporate it to whatever dream life I create. It’s time to take it seriously, and I’m ready to do that, I believe.

You know, I don’t know where my life will be at 30…I’m not even sure exactly what my life will look like at the end of summer…but I am ready to see where God leads me.

I know He has exciting things in store!

And, I’m ready.

 

 

Determined

I just sent off my inquiry about setting up an interview to volunteer at a nearby children’s hospital.

A year long commitment.

Sunday, I agreed to help with our young adult small group, as well as child-check-in once month.

Commitment: unknown. Likely, however long I am in the area.

I just sent out my request to also serve in the weekly youth group as a leader.

Commitment: again, likely as long as I’m in the area.

Today, I showed up to work with a pulled muscle in my back (still not feeling the best) – and I put all I have into it. And, it was a good work day.

Tomorrow, I will be getting back to my new work-out routine. Getting back into a healthier state.

I have told those around me, that I am open to the idea of being set up – they can find me someone, put in a good word.

Recently, I picked up a new devotional book to kick my devotional time into a higher gear – no plateaus for me 🙂

And, why have I done these things?

Because I am determined.

Determined to make this move matter.

Determined to make my life the life I dream of, the life God intends.

Determined to be reminded of how wonderful my life in Him really is, and what His voice/direction really is for me.

Determined to be open to anything He may throw my way.

Determined to help make this world a better place, to see His Kingdom come, to live a more abundant and authentic life.

I am determined.

Determined to have the best life I can have – the best life He will open up to me.

The Eyes Have It

In my 30 Day Embracing the Single Life Challenge, today is day 5, and I honestly wasn’t planning on a post today – especially after having a bigger case of the Mondays this week than I did last week…

But day 5’s challenge is to write about one physical characteristic I love about myself and why – so, I thought in order to encourage others to embrace their God-given beauty, it would be better to write here than tucked away in my journal…

I don’t know abut you, but I more often than not look into a mirror and find a lot to criticize…

But, that’s not what this post is about. As I wrote yesterday – the voices will pick you apart.

It’s often harder to hear the truth:

that you are God’s beautiful masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)

that you were created in His image (Genesis 1:27)

that you are fearfully (with reverence) & wonderfully made [by a God] whose every work is marvelous  (Psalm 139:14)

that this God is jealous for you – enthralled with the beauty He created in you (Psalm 45:11)

I know I have a hard time accepting all of this as fact.

My mirror would have me believe that the exact opposite is true. The mirror would have me believe that the character inside is nothing like the image on the outside & vice-versa.

But, that’s not what this is about either…

This is about a part of myself that I love – something about my physical appearance.

For me, that would most often be my eyes.

I’ve got blue eyes for days!

Sure, there are days when I’m really tired, or in the middle of a particularly grueling allergy season, I’m absolutely horrified by their appearance.

But, more often than not – these two blue beauties are my favorite features. And, between the glasses and contacts, I have a lot of fun with them.

When I was younger, my right eye was what they called a “lazy eye”.  Meaning, it was a bit droopy – often appearing as if it were almost closed. This made me really self-conscious. Not that most people really noticed, but I noticed…I suppose, it still droops a little more, especially when I’m tired. But, I don’t even give it a second though.

At one time, this characteristic was another feature to link me to Leah, the woman in the Bible I relate to so well.

Who, the older I get, I both relate to more & less at the same time – it’s a beautiful paradox.

She had weak eyes – possibly a lazy eye, or poor eyesight (I have both)…She wasn’t sought out. She wasn’t wanted – by anyone except God.

Her life was defined by her eyes. The weak eyes are what she is remembered for. But, still there is so much beauty in her story.

And, there is still so much beauty in my story.

And, my expressive eyes give it all away.

My eyes really do express what I’m feeling. It’s what made me a terrible actor in theater, but adds great dimension to my singing stage presence. They are my favorite color – and throw on a little mascara & they absolutely pop.

Put on the glasses, and my nerdy side is more readily accessible. Still with the same expressive big, blue eyes right there.

It’s honestly taken a while for me to come to appreciate them, but now, when I talk about a physical feature of mine that I love so well,

The eyes have it!


What about you? What is one physical feature you love about yourself and why? Having trouble thinking of one? Read the verses above and remember that everything God creates is beautiful, and each of us has a role as His masterpiece. Feel free to share below, or reach out to me on one of my social media pages.