From where I sat tonight, I enjoyed clouds, cooler weather, and a day when I’ve felt more me than I have in days – maybe weeks.
Summer heat gets me down, y’all.
So, here I sit on this cooler day finally enjoying myself – reading & writing, tending to my soul & spirit…contemplating many things, including relationships.
See, that date has become something…so, it means letting someone in…
I am so, so used to single life. In single life, I’m only responsible and accountable to me (to an extent).
I mean, it is my desire to bring my husband good all the days of my life (Proverbs 31:12) – but I’ve already failed, I’m sure. So, I try moving forward – that whoever he is will truly find good when he finds me as his wife (Proverbs 18:22).
But, I digress…
In single life, you don’t have to let anyone in.
You don’t have to be vulnerable and wonder if they can/want to handle it.
There’s always fear in vulnerability.
If you move forward with someone – there’s risk. You let someone into your pain, your mess, your darkness, your weakness, your faults – along with your joy, your celebration, your gifts, your passion.
Entering a relationship requires trust.
For me, a big area of vulnerability is this blog. My heart shared, post after post; and, there are questions that go with that:
- What if “he” finds it?
- What if he doesn’t like what he reads?
- What if it scares him?
- What if he doesn’t understand the struggle, the doubt, the darkness…?
- What if I find myself to be too much or not enough?
Honestly, though, this openness & willingness to risk vulnerability is essential to any relationship – whether two weeks old or fifty years old (not that you should spill all day one, there are levels to this…)
We cannot connect with others without it – and, yes, at some point it will lead to conflict, disappointment, and misunderstanding. It’s what you do together to overcome that which will make the difference.
Just as you hope he/she will be that for you, this gives you a beautiful opportunity for you to be open & accepting of him/her in their darkness, weakness, struggle.
In doing this for one another, you find the beauty to overcoming this fear – you find a partner, a war buddy.
And, you discover someone who loves your heart: weakness, faults, and all. You discover someone you love: weakness, faults, and all.
So, do we fear vulnerability? Of course we do.
But, overcoming that fear leads to something we are all hoping to find in this life – and it leads to the kind of relationship & love that glorifies, honors, reveals, & represents God and His love for us.
I listen to a lot of [Christian] Hip-hop, and recently, there is a song that has worked it’s way into my heart. It comes along these lines so well. It deals with this kind of openness and vulnerability, from the perspective of the one being supportive and accepting, and loving. I want to share it with you, as it may be an encouragement to others, too (KB – Lights Go Out (ft. Blanca & Justin Ebach) – Reach Records):