Letting Go – the Single Struggle

27 years old. Single.

Apparently, this is a thing for me.

So much so, that God is really opening me up to what happiness & purpose really mean in this life. I’ll give you a hint – it’s not (completely) about having a perfect someone to spend your days with.

So, I’m letting go of the idea that by now I should be in a happy marriage to a Godly man in ministry with at least one kid.

I’m letting go of the notion that on my own I am not enough for the Kingdom.

I’m letting go of the vain of thought that a single woman over a certain age is an Old Maid.

I mean, really? Just stop with that, ok.

The wonderful thing is I know that I don’t need a man to complete me, to save me, or to fulfill me.

Christ has that job – and He’s pretty well got it covered.

But, often, when we let go of something, we must put something in it’s place.

So, I’m embracing my current status – viewing it as a time to really dig in to the things of my Abba – as well as a prime time to indulge in a little selfishness while I can.

I’m embracing my life stage as an opportunity to bless those around me who have marriages & families – by encouraging them, babysitting, offering much needed girls days (with or without the kids).

I’m embracing my “enoughness” and my adequacy, knowing full well that God is using me even without a partner on the horizon.

And, today being day 6 of my challenge, is so fitting, because the challenge today is to think about 3 words friends would use to describe you, and I have had this conversation with friends…

The words that most often come up reflect this enoughness, and this service to the Kingdom:

Loyal – When discussing biblical characters that I resemble, Ruth comes up most often. Her loyalty. I have been told I am “loyal beyond reason”.  When we look at this word it means faithful – to a government, leadership; to vows, obligations, commitments, people. It is in my blood, and it’s what makes me trustworthy to others. This characteristic is what drives me to second (or more) chances.

Caring – This word is related to worry or concern – taking caution about situations. But, it also encompasses the idea of protection/charge, keeping, looking out for. This is what I do – with basically everybody in my life: I care. I protect. I look out for. I keep safe. I worry/show concern for. It drives my work life & my ministry life.

Reliable – Dependable. Honest. (also – accurate). My current work is seeing this as much as anyone. When I say I will show up, I am there – and with as much energy & time as I can give. This includes my work & ministry. It is this drive towards reliability that is making me learn the value of the word “No”.

I know there are more fuzzy-wuzzy words my friends and family would use for me, but these three come up so often. And are a great reminder of my ability to really do great things on my own in this time of singleness.

These three traits will one day make me a great wife & mother (if that is something God blesses me with).

But, it is these three traits, a long with so many others, that make my time now so sweet. They add to my relationships now.

They make it easier to let go of those “single girl” stereotypes, and embrace the amazing truth of who I am right now.

So, in the words of Elsa:

“Let it go. Let it go” (sorry, had to, haha)


*This post is not only part of my Embracing the Single Life series, but I linked up over at Finding the Grace Within for Tuesday @ 10. This week’s theme is “Letting Go”. Head over there to read what others came up with for this prompt.

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9 thoughts on “Letting Go – the Single Struggle

  1. I was single for most of my 20s (met husband at 27, got married at 28). I think Christian culture undervalues singleness, particularly with women. It’s fantastic that you’ve found your identity in Christ. That’s the best advice I could give to anyone, regardless of martial status.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading, and for encouraging! I agree that often the Christian culture undervalues singles, especially women. I have been blessed to be a part of communities who are supportive, even in my singleness. Though, there have been a lot of times it was much, much harder than others. Recently, it has been much easier to just exist in His plan as it is now 🙂 .

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hate to be cliche, but the time I settled with singleness was the exact moment my husband asked me out. It doesn’t happen with everyone though, but I do find it ironic.

        Like

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