In my last post, “Don’t dress stupid”, I quoted a line from the most recent HIMYM:
“The real challenge is walking up to a [girl] I’ve never met before and somehow talking to her with words from my mouth…”
When I’m with my friends or coworkers, I often find myself saying, “yeah, and I’m the quiet one in my family!” They rarely believe me, unless they’ve spent any time with my family.
School. Work. Church. I have no problem making friends, talking, and laughing in these places.
I have all the confidence in myself when it comes to these areas. Therefore, I make friends and converse pretty easily.
This probably explains why my Undergraduate years were some of my most confident and why I was able to make friends with a lot of different kinds of people. School, work, church, they were all combined, all part of the community I belonged to.
At work, I can easily strike up a conversation with coworkers, at school, with fellow students. In the check out line or at a restaurant, I can be very friendly with the checker or the waiter.
But, to someone having coffee at a Starbucks? Hanging at a party? Studying at the library?
The challenge is somehow “talking to [him] with words from my mouth…”
Somehow, I feel a little bit like I may be imposing on their life…or, I don’t know this person, why should we talk…or, how do I talk to someone I don’t know?
In those situations, I definitely keep to myself: partly because I just prefer it that way, but also because I don’t really have the confidence to just walk up to someone and start talking to them…
On Tuesday, I got to hang out with Cousin’s friend, K. I’ve only met K a few times before this, but she’s sweet as can be, and carries herself boldly. We talked about the confidence needed to be open & friendly. Confidence I have in my work & school life, but that I need to have in other areas also.
K asked me what I thought my best features are, and shared her own observations.
On the list went things like: my hair, my eyes, my teeth (yes, I really like my teeth :), my kindness, my passion, my intelligence.
Now, I just need to own my strengths & my best assets, and remember that they are part of me in every situation.
K also gave good advice about how to carry myself with confidence, something I think she probably does pretty well in her own life. We talked about what it’s like to just start up a conversation with someone, say, while studying at Starbucks.
I don’t feel like I’m ready to do something like that, but I suppose people can still meet that way.
All of this is just part of the journey. It’s a good exercise in confidence. A bold reminder that I am a multi-faceted person enjoying this crazy journey called life, and I can enjoy meeting new people in many situations.
A gentle push to be confident in who I am.
“Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.”
If you have been enjoying my posts, let me know. Have any questions? Leave them below. Have any comments, feel free to share. Are you on your own crazy dating adventure? I’d love to hear about it 🙂