My life isn’t perfect (I can hear the resounding “DUH!” sound now…).
I only say that to qualify my next statement: I am so blessed. I lead a great life.
But, I had to fight more than a few battles to get here.
Anyone who has struggled with depression or severe anxiety knows it can be a battle to just get out of bed. It can be a major battle just to make it through a day.
But, make it through each day I did. Some of those (more than I can count, actually) were all lived from my bed. I was too depressed or anxious to even make it out into the world. For 10+ years it was hit or miss, what kind of day would it be?
Anyone who struggles with depression or anxiety, be it a physical imbalance in the brain, a situational experience, or a spiritual battle, knows that the struggle isn’t easy.
When the depression finally lifted in my life, my world turned on its head. I saw color, felt as if I could breathe, and found myself enjoying everything so much more.
The anxiety didn’t leave with the depression though, it is still something I struggle with.
However, over the past year, it has been lessened so much. And one verse kick started it all:
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourself be burdened again by a yolk of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1
It was when I read this verse at a church retreat that I realized that Christ set me free from depression not to return back to that state, and He is setting me free from anxiety. Not to return to that life, but to get the help I need to be able to walk in freedom, which I know takes courage. I know that He will provide what I need, be it friendships, love, His Word, even medication (if needed), it will all come from Him.
But, since this retreat, when I was first re-introduced to this verse, I have change even more than when I was first delivered from the chains of my depression.
Now I am considering doing things I never would have considered before. Things in my personal life. Different things for Christ. Building relationships I was once too terrified to build. Repairing relationships I thought were beyond repair. Letting go of things I thought I’d never be able to let go of.
All of this comes not from me, but from the Courage of Christ working through me. Setting me free for freedom; not to return to a life not lived, bound by depression. Now, I look back, and I recognize all of those times when something that should have been easy (such as getting out of bed/out of the house) was actually a battle.
My life today is worth the fight I went through to get here. Anyone I encounter going through the same thing is also worth the fight, if my battle helps them in theirs.
If you are going through this right now, my battle was worth it, just to know that you are reading these words. You’re life is worth the battle – don’t give up.