So I kind of feel as if I am writing this post just for me, but sometimes that happens I guess…
For much of my life I have battled with intense anxiety…over everything! It has done a number on my life: limiting my social abilities, my adaptation abilities, my spiritual life, everything.
I hold on very closely to stuff because I lack a basic trust in people. People make me anxious. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for disappointment, or to be a failure. Stuff never lets me down.
Its the same with escaping into a fictional world: books, movies, tv. I don’t have to worry about my own real life when I am so engrossed in someone’s fictional drama.
I feel as if I have always been this way, so afraid to live in the real world that I stay shut in my own fictional spaces.
My anxiety wells up about a number of things: new social situations, new activities, new jobs, points of failure, being less than perfect, having to part things/people I hold dear, putting myself out there, driving, finances…The list goes on and on.
Recently, I have encountered a new problem with my anxiety. The Enemy has flipped it on its head, and now I find myself anxious about good things, seeing them as scary and wanting to hide in bed with the covers over my head.
Namely, GOD’s will in my life.
I fear the power that comes with being a child of the King. I fear what He may require of me. What’s worse? I fear the bigness of the failure I could be facing.
Anxiety can be utterly debilitating, keeping a person from living a free and normal life. But, this is not even close to what God desires for me (or you, if you are experiencing the same struggle).
I have already written a post about what the Enemy desires to do to everyone, especially children of God. The Enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy everything we have…he wants us to forfeit our faith for a false sense of security, a false sense of freedom. However, it’s a lie.
Anxiety is a lie. Not to say it doesn’t exist, but to live with it ruling your life on a day to day basis means to be giving in to a lie.
God wants more for you. He wants peace in your heart. He want true freedom.
In 1 Peter 5:7-10 we see that God wants to take our anxieties upon Himself. He knows that the Enemy is running around trying to trip us up using any tool he can, but Christ already covered us. God will sustain us, we only need rely on Him.
Yes, we will encounter hard times. We do not always get to be in control. We may fall on hard times. We may never find an “ideal life”. Perfection will rarely find us, and we may find unrest in our failures. But, we don’t have to live in a day to day, anxiety filled life.
“Cast your cares on God because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7