There has been a lot on my mind lately, and I have been distracted from blog writing (and writing in general) because of it. So, in today’s Life: Unmasked post, I am writing a letter to me in senior year in H.S. …A reminder of what I’ve been through, and an encouragement that I can get through what is happening now.
Dear CandiAngel:
Lose the nickname. It will be a bit of a hindrance in the future.
Take heart in the darkness, for Christ has overcome. It seems as if the darkness will last forever, but it won’t. Open your hand, let it go. Your Abba will take it and make you new. The world does have color, and you can breathe, I promise. Right now, it’s hard to see past today, let alone into the promise of tomorrow. The fights won’t last forever, the lying will end. You won’t always be trapped in a toxic environment, and God will use this to help others. Wanna know how? Well, you know that book you started? I finished it, and, it’s nothing like you picture it now!
Your story is important. Oh, and you are truly beautiful and truly loved. You just can’t see it yet because of all the pain that is crushing your heart. But, God is still holding that heart, and He will heal it, making it “beautiful in His time” (You know what I mean by that).
The loneliness will fade. It won’t always be gone, but it will be lessened. You will find friends who love you, and you will learn to trust them. Trust will eliminate much of the loneliness you feel. And, your Abba will take care of the rest. Be open, love, let others in.
You don’t always have to be strong. You think now that it is expected of you, and you are strong. You will always be strong, that never changes. Let God take your load, He cares for you. Five years from now, most of the bad stuff doesn’t even matter anymore; it’s barely even a memory. But, when times get tough, cry out to your Abba. In your weakness you will see His strength. I know you want to make everyone think you are super strong, and don’t want to hear the “I told you so”s and the “What were you thinking?”s, but sometimes, it’s ok to show you’re scared. Let God know, and you will find a strength you didn’t know was there, because it isn’t yours. (Trust me, I know, I’m going through this now).
You won’t be married by the time you thought you would, but that’s ok. We both still have A LOT of growing up to do. Like you, I want to be prepared when he comes across my path. You are not even close to being ready to find someone. If you found someone at your age, you would give up so much that will make you who you become. So, slow down, guard your heart, and know it will be ok. One day, he will find me, and I will be ready.
Finally, just remember, you are precious. Most days you don’t believe it because you don’t hear it. Most of the words you hear & believe are lies. Try not to let them in so deep. (Too late, I know). Lucky for you, I know & believe the truth now.
You are strong. Not on your own, but because of the power within you from your Abba. You are a survivor, and you thrive on.
Love,
Candice Jenee’
Author Candice Jenee’ 